


Anything to make you stay (anything to make you live)

by livinginadaydream (orphan_account)



Category: Disney RPF, Jonas Brothers
Genre: Angst, Incest, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-02
Updated: 2010-07-02
Packaged: 2017-10-12 17:55:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/127502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/livinginadaydream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He can't stop it from coming, so he prays it won't come until he's gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anything to make you stay (anything to make you live)

He would literally do anything, he thinks. He hates feeling, knowing that even with that truth it doesn't matter. Someday it's going to happen and he won't be able to stop it. He won't be able to keep him. Keep him safe. Make him breathe. At some point in the future, it's all going to fall apart, and when that day comes, he's going to be in hell.

They take steps forward every day and with every breath they're a little bit closer. And a little bit closer to death.

It's scary how much he knows he would have given up everything he had in him _years_ ago if it had come to it. And now that his love has only grown, he has nothing more to give to match the power of the blood that keeps his heart beating every time he's near.

Just the faintest of movement beneath his thumb, but when Joe presses it to the inside of Nick's wrist, or up, under his jaw, it's the closest he comes to a miracle. Every day he wakes up, every day _he_ wakes up, he's grateful.

God isn't particularly fair, he doesn't think, and he's always felt it's something of a lie that God feels everyone all the time and that He only wants the best for everyone, but he doesn't know who else to thank, so his thoughts as he's running a comb through his hair, or placing the soap bar back in its place each morning - he figures that's where he's sending his gratitude.

When his brother climbs in behind him, wraps his arms around his waist, somewhat dry until the warm shower water really hits him, he's just at the edge. He's at the edge of getting on his knees and praying, pouring out his heart; he feels stupid with how much he feels from what should be the most simple of things. A cheek on his back, just by his shoulder, a nose pressed close behind his ear, fingers flexing against his stomach that he _has_ to hold onto, _has_ to grasp so that neither of them ever slip away. It's his favorite thing they ever do together, silently feeling each other as the water and warmth drowns everything else out.

He knows it's coming some day, and every time he thinks about it, it's the scariest thing he can imagine, and it's selfish, but he hopes he's not the one. He hopes he won't be the one to wake up to the day when he's taken from him. He hopes, no he _prays_ , he _prays_ that it's Nick instead.


End file.
